Lonely…

Waimanalo Beach

So lonely…

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A Bend in the Road…

Fountain at Thomas Square

I recently trusted someone with some personal knowldege, something I had done, something I enjoyed, something I wouldn’t admit to just anyone. I thought this person traveled along the same bent road I do and would understand my enjoyment. He didn’t and suddenly our friendship seems to be waning.

Perhaps my road is more bent than I thought…

Making a Connection…

La Sagrada Familia nave
[Interior view of La Sagrada Familia, Barcelona, Spain (photo from Wikipedia)]

Last weekend I broke down and joined a popular dating site. I did it because I’m lonely. As someone said to me, I’m trying to make a connection, be it fetish or vanilla. The problem is that I don’t realy know what I’m doing there. I can scroll through photos of men (all in age ranges of 50 to 65 because God forbid I would want to date anyone younger than myself!) and apparently I can wink at them or some such nonsense.

I have to admit that I’m kind of afraid. Some of these men look like serial killers. Granted, that’s a small minority although none of the men look like the ones in the commercials for any of the dating sites. Most of the men actually using the site are rather ordinary in appearance – someone you might see in your condo or office building, maybe at Costco. These are my men! The ordinary ones! If only I knew what to do with them now…

Heads I Lose, Tails I Lose…

2011-11-18 (1) Bougainivillea bushes along Makakilo Drive
[Bougainvillea]

I got into a discussion this morning about my sex life. And lack thereof. It came down to two things. One, keep the status quo. In other words, keep hoping someone comes along and do nothing in the meantime. No sex. No human contact. Two, enter into an affair with a married man knowing that it will go nowhere. The upside of that is I will get sex and human contact. Albeit, not on my terms. Our meetings will be dependent upon his schedule, his desires, his needs.

Seems like either way I lose…